Letting Go

balloonAt first I thought going to a memorial service to say good-bye to Kolbe (the baby I just lost in miscarriage) was that last thing I would do.  The thought of making myself emotionally vulnerable and go back into the wound that I just wanted to walk away from was the least appealing idea to me.  Yet, when the priest at my Church texted to tell me that the cemetery that Kolbe was to be buried at had a memorial service being offered the very next week after losing my baby, it seemed to be an invitation from God. Either that or it was very coincidental that within a week of miscarrying there was a service being offered. Then he told me that the day it was offered was the very day we had a meeting scheduled anyways so he knew I would be free.

I have begun to see these kind of coincidences as ways in which God is gently nudging me in a particular direction.  They are painful nudges, but they are invitations that I have begun to understand as doors God the Father desires for me, His daughter to walk through because He want to take me deeper, closer and farther in my spiritual walk towards Him.

I can refuse these invitations, but I some how know if I do I will be staying right where I am.  A couple of years ago I began recognizing these invitations for the first time.  I did not realize that I was always being invited and had even accepted many of them.  Instead I had thought I was just “experiencing” deeper intimacy here and there, randomly.   Then it happened.  I was in Florida at a Healing Retreat dealing with the shit storm of what is my life and I heard the Holy Spirit prompt me to accept His invitation.  That is when I recognized that I am always being given invitations.  What do they look like? Usually they look very painful.  That particular night the invitation was clear.  “When I invite you, say yes.  If you do, I will heal you.  If you don’t, you will stay where you are.” The Holy Spirit was telling me that even when it was scary and felt like dying that if I trusted Him and said yes to whatever it was He was inviting me to, that on the other side of it I would find healing.  It is as if you are blind-folded and walking through traffic and someone is reaching their hand out on the other side telling you to walk toward them.  As scary as that felt, I still heard Him saying “Trust Me.”

Even now I am having a hard time articulating the intense fear and reservation that still accompanies his invitations.  That invitation in Florida, the one that opened my eyes to see that I am always being invited, changed my life.  I call it my undoing because I was undone, but then I was made new.  

I heard the invitation to walk into the loss of this baby when it would be so much easier to just continue marching forward and get on with my life.  It is so easy to do with all of the things on my calendar.  I could easily slip away from it all and just try to forget.  Yet, here I was standing in a cemetery listening to poems being read out loud by other women who just lost their babies.  The most beautiful part of the ceremony was the moment the woman there handed me a purple balloon in honor of Kolbe.  As it was placed in my hands the tears slipped out of my eyes and down my face.  To hold something in my hands that was for Kolbe broke open the stones I had tried to put around the wound in my heart to keep from feeling the loss.  One of my most favorite songs ever started playing as we were invited to say goodbye in our own private way.

I watched  a mother and three children each take a balloon and tie a note to the string.  They released their balloons together and I watched as she kneeled on the ground holding her children and watching with them as the balloons rose in the air carrying their little notes with them.

Looking back at my own balloon I closed my eyes for a brief moment and I swear I saw Kolbe holding hands with his siblings in heaven, laughing and running chasing after the balloons like children do.  Then I did what I must always do  when I am going to accept an invitation sent to me from God my Father.  I let go.

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Hell Is Proof That God Loves Us

sign heaven hellThe fact that hell exists is proof of God’s love.  Without a choice to go to hell there is no free will, there are no choices, there is no love.  If there was not a hell, then God could not honor our choice to reject Him.  Hell makes choosing God possible, without there is no choice.  If there were not a choice to go to hell we would be animals, without choice, relying on our instincts to dictate our lives.

Does God pre-destine a soul to go to hell? The short answer is no.   According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church Predestined means that we are selected for divine adoption by an eternal decree of God (Eph 1:4). “Predestination is a mystery revealed but not fully understood; what we know for certain is that God is free to act as he chooses (Ps 135:6) and man is free to accept or reject his blessings (Rom 2:6-8; Sir 15:11-13). No one is predestined by God for eternal damnation” (CCC 1037).

hell

Predestined and predetermined are two different things.  We are in fact predestined for heaven.  The old Baltimore Catechism says this about why God created us: “God made me to know Him, to love Him, and to serve Him in this world, and to be happy with Him for ever in heaven.”  This goes against the argument that some protestants have used to say God predestines some people to go to hell and there is nothing they can do to change it.  They believe that some people are  chosen and brought into existence for this purpose, to go to hell.  This is false.  God does not desire it nor does He bring into being a person so he can then “send” them to hell.

It is a person’s free will that destines a person for hell.  God’s gift of free will allows each person to choose heaven or hell.  There are two choices really.  “I am a handmaid of the Lord, be it done unto me according to they word” as Mary said or “Not my will but thine be done” as Jesus said.  The alternative is  “I will not serve” which was the response of Lucifer.

cartoon

So how is one to understand how a person is “predetermined” to go to hell? When we understand the immaculate conception we understand predetermined. Why is this? Because the Immaculate Conception reveals the very timelessness of God.  God is outside of time and space.  God applied the graces merited by Jesus Christ on the cross and applied it to Mary at the moment of her conception.

How could He do that? Because God knew Mary would say yes.  This did not mean she did not get to chose it, it just means that because He is God He exists outside of space and time.  He is past present and future.  God knows no boundaries.  He knew she would say yes it happened already outside of time and he preemptively applied the grace.  This is of course my laymen terms for such a complex theology that only a theologian (which I am not) could explain it concisely.

future past present

You could say that Mary was predetermined to say yes and be the mother of God.  Bl Anne Catherine Emerich talks about this in her 4 volumes that Mel Gibson used to write the screen play for “The Passion”.  She said in her writings that God desired to bring about the salvation of the world sooner but it was not until St. Anne and St. Joachim that two loved like the trinity into which Mary was brought and in which she would say yes to being the mother of God that God could then move forward with His divine plan.  That shows you how much God honors our free will.  He won’t even save us unless we allow Him to, that is how much He respects our free will.

It is hard to understand how the graces merited on the cross by Jesus Christ were given to His mother before she was even born.  Another way to wrap ones head around this mystery is to contemplate the Eucharist.   At mass we experience Calvary.  It is because the Holy Sacrifice of the mass is able to pass outside of space and time, literally making present the body of Jesus Christ, that this is possible.  We are not re-creating Christ’s death and crucifixion, nor are we re-sacrificing Him, rather we step through a mystical veil of time and space and Calvary is made present.  We are at the foot of the Cross.

This is why we pray for the dead or why we ask for the Communion of Saints to pray for us.  Our prayers can bestow graces to them before their deaths.  We can pray for those who died and our prayers can merit graces that outside of time can be given to them before they died to help perfect their nature.  It is this mystery of timelessness that many of us cannot understand because we are temporal beings. We are bound by space and time but God is not.  The spiritual is not.  Angels pass through this veil easily because they are not bound time space as we are.  Perhaps this is why some Saints could bi-locate.  They could pass through the veil because it is a reality created by God to govern the physical realm.  However, we are spiritual and physical beings.  Therefore, we too are able to pass through the veil in ways known only to God and in our Glorified bodies we will move as fast as our thoughts and will pass through walls much like Christ did when manifested into the upper room.  He passed through the veil, the dimension that separates us.

At the moment of conception God creates a holy immortal soul and infuses it into the body of that child.  At that moment God knows all of the choices that person will make before they make them, never diminishing their free will.

choices

It is the choices they will make that will determine their final destination.  All souls are destined for heaven.  This is the the truth of the trinity because every person is created in the image and likeness of God who is Love.  God is love poured out and overflowing and in that excess of love He creates Holy immortal souls.  This means we are all created to love and be loved.  If we do not chose enter into that love we reject God (who is Love) and chose the alternative.

The fact that hell exists is another proof of God’s love.  Without a choice to go to hell there is no free will, there are no choices, there is no love.  If there was not a hell, then God could not honor our choice to reject Him.  Hell makes choosing God possible, without there is no choice.  If there were not a choice to go to hell we would be animals, without choice, relying on our instincts to dictate our lives.

God does not force himself on us but rather allows us to decide if we will be with Him forever in Heaven or if we will reject Him and spend eternity in Hell.  We will exist for all eternity, where we do it is up to us.

So if we are not predestined to go to hell are we predetermined to go to hell? What does predetermined mean? In this context predetermined means that before it happens it is already known to happen.   Souls are predetermined for hell because their choice of hell is known by God before they live it out.

James 1:13-15, “Let know one say when he is tempted, ‘I am tempted by God’; for God cannot be tempted with evil and he himself tempts no one; but each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin; and sin when it is full-grown brings forth death.”

c.s lewis

It is our choice to sin that determines whether or not we spend eternity in hell.  When a soul is pre-determined to go to hell it means that God knows that they would reject Him regardless of His invitations or intersessions.   He knows it because He sees their decisions, sees into their personhood, knows their hearts and understands all of their choices and gives them the freedom to choose.

Free will is a very powerful thing.  Even the devil has no real power other than what our free will gives him.  When we submit our will to evil and enflesh it, that is when the devil is able to oppress us.  Free will is something we should all contemplate more.  It transcends space and time and can condemn a person before they are born (because a birthday is a time and God is outside time).  On a positive note, it can also save the entire human race.  Jesus and Mary are proof of that.

Online “Healing The Whole Person” Retreat!

“To speak of prayer for the healing of the soul is primarily to speak of prayer for releasing someone from psychological sickness and emotional pain due to hurts and deprivations of the past.

Prayer for healing of memories is in this category.

When someone has such a need he has a psychological barrier to freedom in Christ.” Leanne Payne

Though the human spirit is united with Christ, God’s Spirit cannot radiate through this problem area until the person gets help to understand and deal with it.” Leanne Payne

Image

Are you ready to become more fully alive, more fully capable to love and more fully whole? Then inner healing is for you because it free’s us from compulsions to sin by helping us identify where we are wounded, how the enemy has oppressed you or your family? 

If you answered yes, then listen to these 6 talks and take this powerful mini retreat to heal the wounds that bind you and prevent you from being able to fully be free in Jesus Christ to love your family, love your neighbors and love your enemies.

http://www.onlypeople.org/healing/Image

Good Vibrations

Studies have suggested, after scientists studied a group of Monks that practiced Gregorian Chant, that it’s use can and does alleviate fatigue, depression and illness because of the herz ranges (around 8000) and vibration patterns of the sounds.

BRAIN NEURONS WITHOUT STIMULATION

 

BRAIN NEURONS WITH STIMULATION

 

What would you think if I told you that Gregorian chants creates a harmonic vibration that has been proven in studies to eliminate fatigue, heal and cure disease and illness, extinguish depression and enable the person who sings Gregorian chant, to subsist on as little as 2 hours of sleep a day because it stimulates the part of the cerebral cortex through creating a separate vibration with our bones at a completely different vibration and hertz level that, when the cranium and skull vibrate at this frequency, acts like a magnifier as the bones of the head amplify the vibration affecting the brain at an even more magnified capacity.

 

I wonder if that is why we put bones of the martyrs under our churches or keep the bone fragments as relics, because when their bones are present before us and with us, and as we as a mystical body of Christ “sing” or chant this holy music that even at a scientific decibel level brings grace (this is the foundation of TOB) that their bones “sing” with us and the song vibrations that hum with us, could it be because God is free from space and time, is somehow allowing a supernatural grace to flow from their glorified bodies (if God is free from time and space to take the merits of the cross and apply it to create Mary Immaculate, then why could he not allow the bones in our presence of the Saints to emanate with a glorified song that we could mysteriously receive our own healing from as the vibrations frequency, creates it’s song in our own bones?

 

It would make sense as to why we have so many people on anti=depressants and other medications, which I think is a tool of the enemy to numb us to the inspirations and gifts of the Holy Spirit. Perhaps God desires to “amplify” the healing power of the Eucharist but allowing music to be a conduit of healing grace that we receive bodily, in the form of the songs very essence which is not from the voice but the unique vibrations of Gregorian Chant, it is found in Handel’s Messiah, the Ave Maria…. perhaps these unique vibrations are a gift for the soul that we receive somatically because of the sacramentality of the Body.

Can you tell the difference?? from Corpus Christi Watershed on Vimeo.

 

Then it would make sense why the enemy has had this all but removed and why we as a society are dying, diseased, depressed and fatigued. I would even go so far as to speculate that a deliberate infiltration of liturgical music has occurred in which the songs vibration patterns, frequency and harmonic structure is not only opposite of Gregorian Chant and Handel’s Messiah and the Ave Maria, but it is more closely resembles that of noise when tested by computers. “Here I am Lord” composed by Dan Schutte, an ex-Jesuit Priest ordained and has left the priesthood and living in San Francisco.

 

Dan Schutte’s song, His song, “Here I am Lord” vibrates on a harmonic or wave length levels almost identical to noise.

 

When sang, the vibrations of the chant, create a separate vibration at it’s own herz level (around 2000) that emanate from the bones. It is as if the bones “sing” say the scientists and this “song” is measurable.  More specifically the cranium, or skull and jaw bone, resonate at this herz level. The eardrum and stapes vibrate from this unique vibration and stimulate a very precise center of the cerebral cortex of the brain. The monks that were studied were able to subsist on less than 4 hours of sleep, some less than 2 hours of sleep a day, were healed of illness and experienced an overall sense of well being. When scientist studied these same monks who, due to an edict halting the practice of Gregorian Chant, were studied after they discontinued the singing of Gregorian chant, they became ill, depressed and fatigued to the point that many were unable to function or complete their duties or rigorous schedules. Once this was made known, they were given permission to once again sing Gregorian Chant and the monks suffering from illness and depression were healed. Here is more on this amazing discovery.

 

Alfred Tomatis is a French physician and specialist in otolaryngology, who has been working with understanding the function of the human ear and the importance of listening for forty-five years. In this connection we will look at his discoveries of sound, which ”charge” the listener. Tomatis found that sounds that contain high frequency harmonics, such as those found in Gregorian chants, are extremely beneficial. It is these high frequencies around 8000 Hz, which are capable of ”charging” the central nervous system and the cortex of the brain. In many of the sacred chants of the different tradition, the main out put of high frequency harmonics are dominant, which offer stimulation to the brain.

 

 

Tomatis himself discovered this when he was called to help a Benedictine monastery, where the monks were suffering of fatigued and depression. He found out, that they usually six to eight hours of chanting – due to a new decree – has been ceased, and within a short period of time the monks was unable to perform their many duties. When Tomatis re-established their daily chanting, the monks were soon able to continue their rigorous schedule of work and prayers.

Here is Theology of The Body in practice; When we listen to Gregorian Chants, our bodies experience a supernatural phenomenon that affects our well being.

 

 

For Tomatis, a major aspect of the therapeutic affects of vocal harmonics lies in the conduction of the bones, which are stimulated by resonance of around 2000 Hz. He says:

 

”The sound produced is not in the mouth, not in the body, but, in fact, in the bones. It is all the bones in the body which are singing and it is like a vibrator exciting the walls of the church, which also sing.”

 

Bone conduction’s actually amplifies the sound through resonance of the cranium and the skull. According to Tomatis, bone conduction stimulates the stapes muscle of the ear, which he believes is the key to stimulating and charging the brain. Tomatis himself manages with a small amount of sleep, less than four hours a night. He attributes this to his listening to sound, which are rich in high harmonics.

 

 

Tomatis has described a phenomenon, which has been called ”The Tomatis Effect”, that states that the voice can only create and duplicate those sounds, which the ear is able to hear. This means that until you are able to hear various overtones, you will not be able to create them in your voice.

 

Listening is undoubtedly a key, not only in obtaining the ability of creating vocal harmonies and improvement of the voice, but of understanding aspects of other levels of consciousness. In the Hindu tradition there is a great awareness of listening as a tool for enhanced consciousness. The art of listening to the outer and inner sound.

http://wavesimon.free.fr/GENERI%20MUSICALI.htm

 

Perhaps the architecture and the acoustics of a church DO matter. Perhaps the way we sing and what we sing DOES influence how we pray, how we believe and even our health. Maybe so many people today are on medications for depression and illnesses and experience a physical and mental fatigue because the very healing gifts of the mass are being removed or altered in such a way as to prevent the body from being able to participate in the gifts God clearly desires to be experienced in and through the body. We are body and soul and God designed it this way therefor it makes sense that the designer would have a reason for giving us the senses and a reason the mass is designed to be experienced through them. So why is it we are not singing Gregorian Chants? I don’t know the answer to that, but clearly the same organization that decided to provide all of the parishes around the world with new hymnals with new music, are making millions of dollars as each Diocese keeps buying their products.

 

PLEASE READ “New Mass Same Heretical Music” to see WHY this is significant!

http://embracingyourgreatness.blogspot.com/2011/05/new-mass.html


AVE MARIA VIBRATION AND FREQUENCY PATTERNS:

 

 

Notice how simply and beautiful the patterns are. It appears like a ladder, one in which our souls can climb to ascend to God as our souls receive the outpouring of Grace when we receive communion.

 

 

 

HANDEL’S MESSIAH VIBRATION AND FREQUENCY PATTERNS:

This one too has an equal amount of space with sound and silence that aspires us upward to the spiritual plane.

 

Then there is the new Comtemporary music that must of us all sing at mass.  Please notice how the following structure is more noise than silence.

 

 

 

HERE I AM LORD by Dan Schutte Vibration and Frequency Patterns:

 

 

 


NOISE VIBRATIONS AND FREQUENCY PATTERNS

 

Noise takes up all of the space with it’s darkness. Darkness is actually measured scientifically by the absence of light. I have heard Dr. Waldstein say that there is no such thing as hate, only the absence of love. So we see that the more absence of silence within a song, the more darkness that it provides. Perhaps this darkness is a blocking agent of the enemy. Theresa Tomeo has a whole book on Noise. I think that noise is an agent of the enemy and blocks us from being able to receive all God desires to give us.

 

 

MILEY CYRUS SONG PARTY IN THE USA FREQUENCY AND VIBRATION PATTERNS