Tag Archives: deliverance

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Jesus Heals the Walking Dead

The Walking Dead is a highly successful television series that has just begun it’s 5th season. Why is it that so many people are interested in shows about Zombie apocalypse or an outbreak of illness creating zombies? Perhaps Hollywood can see what so many of us are refusing to acknowledge. Many of us are the walking dead.  Well to be fair some of us are the walking dead and some of us are the walking wounded. Drug addiction, alcoholism, porn addiction, food addiction, kids killing each other in school, people beheading other people for “God”.  What the heck is going on? It seems like we are living in a world filled with zombies.

What is interesting to me about all of these successful movies and sitcoms is how they parallel our own culture.  It is as if these movies are a commentary on our culture of death. We may not live in the biblical times of leprosy but we certainly live in a time of spiritual leprosy. We live in a fallen world and with fallen people. The new normal is not man and wife with three kids a dog, a house and a white picket fence. In fact, I am not even sure what the new normal is, but it is definitely not the “traditional” family.

The movies we watch that are depicting human beings as zombies, are closer to the truth than most tv sitcoms. We are all in need of healing.  We need to find a means from which to heal our wounds.  We are all wounded in some way. Some of us are living with the effects of sexual abuse or physical abuse; some of us were abandoned by our parents. Still others were emotionally abused or psychologically traumatized by alcoholic or drug addicted parents or even others were ritualistically abused. Whatever the your childhood, chances are you either experienced abuse or neglect yourself or someone very close to you did. The effects of abuse wounds us and it is in through these wounds that we begin to form our understandings and beliefs about who we are, who God is and whether or not we believe in anyone or anything.

The wounds that are inflicted upon us are openings to evil or negativity. Call it what you will, it is through wounds that we are opened up and it is at these moments we can become bound as prisoners to our pain, our fears and the vows that we make to ourselves. We also need friends that we can trust to love us despite our wounds.  We need friends to help encourage us and help us find joy and courage to persevere so that we can go into those dark places and bring healing to them.  The reason why we are struggling in this world is not because we are somehow strange or because we are not faithful or pious enough, it is because we live in a world that has been divided because of sin. Being faithful and growing in holiness can help us in our struggles but unless we address our wounds we may find ourselves carrying a larger struggle than God desires for us to carry by ourselves.

If you or someone you know feels they are nailed to their cross instead of carrying it, then perhaps you are in need of healing.

Here is the Good News! Christ came to restore us! He makes all things new! Am I saying that healing our wounds is as simple as bringing our suffering to Him on the cross? Yes I am. It is not simple or easy to do but it is simple in choice.

But wait a minute…have you been seeing Jesus as some wimpy guy walking around in an effeminate gown talking in gentle high pitched voice? Cause my Jesus is not wimpy, he is B.A.  He will kick some major butt if anyone tries to mess with his girl (that’s me).  Are you seeing Jesus as the laid down lover he is? He is ready and willing to run into the darkest of nights to bring in his lost bride (that’s you).  You just have to call out to him..

In scripture, it says we have a mighty savior that will wipe away every tear and comfort every infirmity and remove every sin for those who believe and trust in him.  Instead of despair we shall have the oil of gladness, instead of shame we shall have double honor, not just in heaven but here in our lives, progressively as grace perfects our nature. The zombies are the sin and the evil in the world and he wants to eradicate it so that you can be resurrected and made new!

Jesus wants your happiness in the world and in the next, he wants to set you free from all that has enslaved you! Everywhere you go he is with you and longs for you to trust in him.  He pursues all of us intensely because of his great love for us.  We are no surprise to God, he knew what he was getting when he made us! You are no surprise to God, I am no surprise to God yet he created us anyways! That is such a consolation!

When our wounds are redeemed and washed clean in the blood of Christ we are made new. The very places you feel the most broken become your most beautiful gifts. He will shine out of your wounds in ways that will not only transform you, but it will transform the people around you. His light shines through our wounds revealing hope and healing.  When we are set free from the healing power of Jesus Christ we are able to retain the graces He pours out to us and we will have Christ to give them in their own thirst.

How can one begin? Pray this prayer. Come Holy Spirit Come. Next ask for prayer ministry. Even Jesus had someone help him carry his cross.  Then, find a healing mass and receive the sacrament of the sick so that your wounds can be healed. The sacraments are means of grace that fills us.  Grace perfects our nature and healing ministry is the means from which to retain this grace so that we can be transformed. It will be through this transformation that the world will be reconciled to God.

For the past 6 months I have had the honor and privilege to be apart of a healing ministry that has been offering a monthly healing mass as well as prayer ministry. People have been coming from all over the state of Wisconsin. If you cannot find a healing mass in your area then consider a pilgrimage to St. Mary’s Catholic Church in Greenville Wisconsin. We are offering a monthly healing mass to heal and free the oppressed.  If you need deliverance from the evil one, if you need healing for your afflictions then come to the living water! Come be healed! You will receive anointing with oil in the sacrament of the sick, there will be deliverance, there will be healing prayer ministry and you will be given an arsenal kit to take home so as to continue finding healing and freedom. Perhaps you are called to bring a healing mass and prayer ministry to your own parish. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you discern what it is you are being called to do and then ask for the grace to do it. I believe we are on the cusp of a revolution of laid down lovers willing to run into the darkness to bring in the lost bride. I believe that that Army is a Marian Army. Join the revolution. For more information you can check out our Facebook page at www.Facebook.com/TotusTuusHealing

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Becoming an “Unbound” B.A.K.E.R.

ropes on wrists

This past weekend I attended the “Unbound Leadership Conference” put on by Heart of The Father Ministries. I was able to meet Neal Lozano, who has written a number of books helping people to find real freedom in Christ by utilizing this very simple and duplicable model of deliverance.

Me and Neal

The word deliverance can scare some people but I like what Neal say’s about it. To say that deliverance is about the devil is like saying that the Exodus story in Genesis is about Pharaoh. Deliverance is about Christ setting the captives free. It is about the power of Jesus Christ that is given to us in baptism, renewed and refreshed through repentance and reconciliation and empowered by the gifts of the Holy Spirit released in confirmation. However, some of us have not been renewed and refreshed. Some of us have not been reconciled and have not asked for the Holy Spirit to release the gifts of confirmation.

bird out of cage

When we are not free to love and be loved then we are not making the invisible visible through our lives and our example. We are to be the body of Christ, yet some of us are still bound up from the lies we believe, the vows we have made, the judgments of others and when this effects our identities we are cut off from the very life giving source that we must draw upon.

So how do we listen to the Holy Spirit? How do we find freedom? How do we refresh, reconcile and release the Holy Spirit in us and through us?

The first thing we have to do is pray to the Holy Spirit. COME HOLY SPIRIT COME! It can begin with simplest of prayers, really it can.

key whole

Before going through the 5 Keys of Unbound, we need to call upon the Holy Spirit and we need to learn to listen to what the Holy Spirit desires to do in our hearts. If you rush into the 5 keys without the Holy Spirit, the 5 keys can become like the keys you have in your junk drawers at home. You know they open something, but you don’t know what.

Here is how you begin. Call upon the Holy Spirit. Pray for Him to release the gifts within and through you.

I would like to show how those that use the examination of conscience taught in the book “33 Days to Morning Glory” can really benefit by incorporation the 5 keys taught in the Unbound model.

Fr. Michael Gaitley’s “B.A.K.E.R. examination of conscience, when utilizing the 5 keys of Unbound, can be truly effective because you can then hear what the Holy Spirit desire for you to know. Rather than just using introspection or merely “thinking” about your shortcomings or sinful patterns or behaviors.

It is a gentle way to go into what I like to call the “bad neighborhoods” of our past. There may be many things we need to repent of. Where do we start so we do not get overwhelmed? I heard a Catholic Answers speaker say that our pasts are like bad neighborhoods, you would not want to go in there without some protection or you will get the cr*P beat out of you. So before we go looking at all the places we have failed and come up short or down right sinned, let us first begin by having the Holy Spirit remind us who God is and who we are. So we begin with B

B=Blessings

We begin by looking at the places in which we have seen the blessings in our lives. We begin with going to the truth and seeing who the Father is and how He has blessed us. This is our “consolations”. Our identities may have been beaten up by the broken people of the world sinning out of their own wounds and this can cause us to have difficulty with knowing who we truly are. Some of us self-justify, or have shame or feelings of unworthiness, we misinterpret God’s intentions or circumstances in our lives and others just do not believe God desires to share intimate secrets with their hearts alone. Whatever the struggles, we must begin with looking to our consolations and blessings and rest in the truth that God is good and that He loves us as we are, right now, today, faults and all.

A= Ask

Now we call once again upon the Holy Spirit and ask for the Holy Spirit to enlighten our minds as to what God desires for us to know about where there are barriers to Him, or where we are in need of repentance. This is the first Key of the Unbound Model.

key

1. Repentance and Faith

When we ask the Holy Spirit He can reveal the root issue instead of the surface things that continue to plague us. For instance, if we have anger issues, raging when things feel out of control or when someone “attacks” us or our worth, we could think our issue is anger. This is how clever the Father of lies is. Anger and rage is a distress symptom of a deeper issue. The Holy Spirit knows the gentlest way to guide you to truth and freedom and He desires to woo His bride gently, He does not desire to kick in your doors or expose you in shame. When we ask Him to lead us to the root, we then can have our hearts moved by His tender Mercy to true repentance.

He can show us that the anger is a reaction to a lie in our heart, an inner vow we have made that locks His healing truth out or perhaps of a judgment we have made about other people or even about God Himself. Anger is a symptom of an idolatry of control. Control is an idol we use to protect ourselves or manage our fears due to powerless wounds or perhaps even fear bonds formed that cause us to believe that God does not save, or He does but will not save us.

When walked through the repentance key, it is so comforting to hear the words of the Prayer team acknowledging and affirming your fear and your deeper desire while at the same time, asking God to forgive you for your judgments, your lack of faith. “In the name of Jesus Christ, I ask your forgiveness for not believing I could trust you.” “Forgive me Jesus for using control as an idol instead of coming to you.” This “Asking” is a beautiful way to know what God desires to start with. If we merely think about our shortcomings, our failures and our limitations to love, we will soon despair. When we look at our sin without the Mercy of Jesus Christ and can easily be convinced by the father of lies that we are not forgiven, our sin is too big or perhaps our God will not save us. If we do not ask the Holy Spirit to lead us in this, those that do repent may do it out of shame, fear of judgment or to be “good” rather than to find healing and reconciliation. This will not set the captives free, but causes the lies to dig themselves in deeper. If the root wound is powerlessness and fear, then we find other ways to “control” so as to not open to God. Anger is symptom of an idolatry of control as a means to self-protect so you see repentance must come from the heart. It is handing the reigns over to Christ, both of them. If we continue to hold onto one of the reigns, we cannot go in the direction God desires to take us in.
key
2. Forgiveness

When we ask the Holy Spirit to reveal where we need to forgive we become aware of places we are bound up that we may never have even realized we were not yet set free! He knows all and everything. He knows where pain has caused us to not yet forgiven someone. He knows where we still believe someone does not deserve our forgiveness. He knows where we still desire someone to make atonement for what they did to us. He knows where we are so afraid of dealing with our emotions or anger that we have made unforgiveness and our anger a means to protect our hearts. He sees past false humility to the pride that tries to justify our unforgiveness, He knows where we still do not understand the depths of His ocean of Mercy and He even knows which evil spirits are binding us up of our own free will. The Holy Spirit will gently reveal where we need to forgive, He will lead us there and He will help to set us free.

“In the name of Jesus I forgive my Father for leaving me as a baby and never getting to know me as a daughter. In the name of Jesus I forgive my father for not wanting to be in my life and for not coming to my graduation from high school or college”. In the name of Jesus, I forgive my father for not holding my hand, for not holding me in his arms and for not being there to protect me as a child.”

Forgiveness is not about giving up your rights or even excusing what someone has done to you. It is about allowing God to work it all out to His better good and glory and relinquishing it’s power over you by trusting in the Father. When an intercessor gives you the words, just hearing them said to you out loud is a validation that what was done to you requires forgiveness. When you repeat them, you can feel the healing salve being administered to your heart. It is freeing in that very moment.

K=Kills

What killed or desolated you today? When did your heart drop in your chest from what was done to you or what you had done to someone else? We are not to make major decisions in times of desolation because the father of lies is so good at manipulating our emotions that we are not free to see rightly. When we ask the Holy Spirit to show us the daily desolations, we see where we the wounds of others were at work and it may not have been our cross to carry. We also see the places the enemy is stirring up our emotions to cause us to believe his lies, to make more judgments or vows that separate us from God and in doing so cause us forget that our Father in Heaven knew what He was getting when He made us, we are no surprise to God, yet He so desired us that He willed us into existence despite how He knew we would fail Him. This leads me to the third key.

key
3. Renounce

“In the Name of Jesus Christ, I renounce the spirit of control. In the name of Jesus Christ, I renounce the Spirit of Anger and unforgiveness”. When we renounce, we break any agreements we have made with the liar and turn our faces back to the Father. We are breaking the ties that bind us. I also believe the renewal of our baptismal vows is a powerful way to renounce the enemy and his lies. It is renouncing Satan, his pomps and works and empty promises. Many of us have had relationships outside of covenant marriage or have been involved with the occult. There are tarot cards, Ouiji boards, wearing crystals and more. These things must be renounced. “In the name of Jesus Christ I renounce any physical or spiritual ties with NAME and I take back what I gave to HIM/Her.” Every day we should be going through B.A.K.E.R. with the 5 Keys of Unbound. When we get to the 3rd key, we need to renounce anything that the Holy Spirit has inspired for us to renounce.

key
4. Authority

“In the name of Jesus Christ, I command every evil spirit and spirits associated to it that I have renounced and every spirit behind the sins I have confessed to leave me right now and go directly to the foot of the cross”. “Thank you Jesus for setting me free from the influence of evil spirits. Thank you Father for sending your son to save me.” Amen

This is about being set free and Jesus Christ has that authority and power. We, by virtue of our baptism can call upon this power of Jesus Christ and command what we renounce in His name as well as any of the powers and principalities infesting or oppressing us to leave! We need to stand in the authority that we as Christians have been given. Christ said that we would do “all these things and even greater things than this” and He meant it.
“Truly, truly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do, he will do also; and greater works than these he will do; because I go to the Father.” John 14:12

Greater works? Yes!!! We will be set free so that we can bring Christ to others so that they too can find healing and freedom!

E=Embrace

This coincides with the final key of Unbound. When we embrace the love of the Father we embrace the greatness of God’s love, the gifts He desires to share with the world through our yes, we embrace the Fathers Blessing.

key
5. The Fathers Blessing

Did you know that your name is very important? For all of the years I have traveled and spoke around the country I have noticed that peoples names strangely revealed how God was using them as instruments of His divine will. I began experimenting and by telling people (before they told me) what it was that I thought they were doing in ministry. Not only would I be right but when I was wrong it was not because I was wrong at all but it was because it was on their hearts to do but they had not answered that stirring in their heart.

All throughout the bible we are shown that names matter so much that even Paul was renamed to ensure his name matched his calling. Isaac was so named because his mother laughed. All of us have names that were inspired in our parents because of the movements of the Holy Spirit because our name was written on God’s heart before it ever was uttered on our parents lips. At the moment He names us our name lit up the heavens and flashed like a comet through the stars and throughout the entire universe heralding our goodness as unique and unrepeatable persons with dignity, honor and great worth beyond price. I challenge you to look up your name. If you cannot find your name to mean something that reveals your call then email me because I guarantee I can. What is your confirmation name? I have been told we do not pick our confirmation Saint, the Saint picks us. The Holy Spirit attracts us to that Saint because they will help protect the mission in which we have been chosen to fulfill.

The Fathers blessing is something that all of us must embrace because it heals the wounds it fills the empty and formless void so that we can see what was always there but never realized, we have been chosen, we have been called by name.

R=Reconcile

The final examen peace is to reconcile. This is another word for being set free! When our hearts are freed to love we desire to reconcile, to bring healing and freedom to others. When we realize we reacted in a way to self-justify and in doing so hurt someone we love, our first inclination upon healing is to run to them like the prodigal son and say please, please forgive me! I desire to make amends and to restore what was broken between us.

If you have not heard of Unbound I challenge you to discover what has continued to bring me great freedom and healing. If you have not consecrated yourself to Mary I would prayerfully suggest you read my article on why she is the one that helps us to receive our triple portion of the Holy Spirit. If you desire for the Holy Spirit to permeate you, transform you and make you a new creature in Christ, then Mary is the perfect mold from which to pour ourselves into because she formed the body of Christ in her womb.

We are going to set the world ablaze with Fire of Christ’s love! Come and Join me as there are many, many captives that need to be set free. Will you join me?

heart of father

What is Heart of the Father Ministries? It say’s this on their website.

“Heart of the Father Ministries empowers people to reclaim their true identity in Christ as sons and daughters of the Father through Unbound:Freedom in Christ ministry.

Heart of the Father is dedicated to equipping people throughout the world to take hold of the freedom they have been given in Christ and to help others do the same by using the principles of the Five Keys as found in Unbound.

Unbound Guidebok

The Five Keys are taught and implemented at the Unbound: Freedom in Christ Conferences and through a growing network committed to proclaiming this message.”

The 5 Keys of Unbound

1. Repentance and Faith
2. Forgiveness
3. Renounce
4. Authority
5. Father’s Blessing

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Zombie Apocalypse; We are the walking wounded

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Have you noticed there are a lot of zombie movies and television shows lately? It is as if Hollywood can see what so many of us are refusing to see. We are the walking wounded. We may not live in the biblical times of leprosy but we certainly live in a time of spiritual leprosy. We live in a fallen world and with fallen people. The new normal is not man and wife with three kids a dog, a house and a white picket fence. In fact, I am not even sure what the new normal is, but it is definitely not the “traditional” family. The movies we watch that are depicting human beings as zombies, are closer to the truth than most tv sitcoms.
zombie
We are all wounded in some way. Some of us are living with the effects of sexual abuse or physical abuse; some of us were abandoned by our parents. Still others were emotionally abused or psychologically traumatized by alcoholic or drug addicted parents or even others were ritualistically abused. Whatever the your childhood, chances are you either experienced abuse or neglect yourself or someone very close to you did. The effects of abuse wounds us and it is in through these wounds that we begin to form our understandings and beliefs about who we are, who God is and whether or not we believe in anyone or anything.

The wounds that are inflicted upon us are openings to evil or negativity. Call it what you will, it is through wounds that we are opened up and it is as these moments we can become bound up as prisoner to our pain, our fears and the vows that we make to ourselves.
nailed
If you or someone you know feels they are nailed to their cross instead of carrying it, then this book may be an answer to prayer. I have endured many of the abuses listed above. I have done what most do, I have gone on to wound others in the very way in which I am wounded. It is an irony that is not lost on me. However, it is helpful to recognize this because it helps us to discover the root wounds buried and hidden deep with us. When we see how we wound others, or we meet people that create a distress in us, usually it is a neon sign, pointing us to an area that we need healing in.
neon
I am hoping that those of you that are seeking healing are inspired by my story but are also given the courage to be vulnerable in ways you have dared not to for so very long.
bridegroom
It is in being vulnerable that we are able to open ourselves to the Bridegroom. Jesus is the Bridegroom and knows all of the secrets of our story. He desires to make us whole and it is only through His grace that we can be transformed. I am here to say it is not only possible, but what you might believe to be your greatest flaw or ugliest secret may just be the birthplace of greatness.
chosen

Each of us were created by God and chosen out of all the “potential” people God could have created to come into existence. God knew what He was getting when He created me, He knew how I would fall, how I would fail Him and yet He did it anyway. I am no surprise to God. He chose me! When we created me, He chose to make me female because God has a plan for my life and being a woman is part of His plan. People do bad things. Our free will allows for that. It’s called God’s permissive will. He does not actively will it, but He promised after the flood that He would not interfere directly against our will. He sealed it with a promise for all to see with a rainbow.

heart
God gives each of us gifts and charisms to enable us to more perfectly carry out our calling yet each of us are given a choice as to whether or not we chose to live out our calling. When we are abused, we begin to lose our ability to function as a “whole” person because our very personhood is wounded. These wounds go very deep and actually separate us from being able to see truth, to love and to be loved and may even destroy our lives in the process. Joy becomes an abstract concept and not a personal experience for the person with wounds.

The wounds created in us many times lead to sin. Many people wound in the very ways in which they were wounded as a means to protect themselves. Many people who abuse were abused themselves.
new
Here is the Good News! Christ came to restore us! He makes all things new! When our wounds are redeemed and washed clean in the blood of Christ we are made new. The very places you feel the most broken become your most beautiful gifts. He will shine out of your wounds in ways that will not only transform you, but it will transform the people around you. His light shines through our wounds revealing hope and healing on the other side.

Come and put your fingers into my wounds so that you too will believe. Open your hearts and minds to not only believe but to receive your own healing because today is the day of freedom!
fingers in wounds
I want to issue a warning for those of you that are easily disturbed by stories that include abuse. While I am not descriptive in every detail, I do share my story of abuse. Please feel free to skip over areas that may be to troubling to you to read. Make note of anything that you read that stirs up fear or anxiety in a journal so you can go back to it later in prayer. Often times, our reactions that are distressing are actually distress symptoms of something within our own hearts that God desires to heal in us. It is the distress symptom that acts as the treasure map so that we can find the hidden areas within us that once discovered and healed, will be our greatest treasure and pearl of great worth.

This book is about my journey of healing from the wounds of my childhood. It is because I did not want to pass on my wounds to my own children, and because I no longer desire to live out of my wounds, that I embarked on a journey of self-discovery. The reason I have decided to write this book is because of the freedom I have found on that journey. I have received more healing in the last year by this method than all of the 30 years of counseling combined.

I was three the year I was sexually abused for the first time. But I have been healed and created anew!

I was three the year I was sexually abused for the first time. But I have been healed and created anew!


I cannot contain it for myself, I must share it because I see so many people in my travels that are broken, hurting, alone, lost and suffering under the weight of their own weaknesses and I desire to be Simon to them. In fact, once we gain freedom from our wounds, they become transformed and begin to radiate Christ to all those around us. Let me share my own journey with you and say a simple prayer of agreement now, “Come Holy Spirit, Come” so that perhaps you too will be made new.
If one person finds freedom and joy because of my story, then I will know I did the right thing in sharing my story.